Lesson Two

Explaining to your parents that you're Cthulhu.
[This can be QUITE tricky.  So, please, pay attention.]

Step One:
      Get both parents (Or one, depending) and sit them down. Preferably, on a couch that ISN'T on fire.

Step Two:  
     Calmly explain to them that you are a large, winged beast who feeds on madness and creates madness all the while have a tentacle-filled face.

[At this point, if they're foolish enough to not accept your new choices...]

Step Three: 
     Infect them with that pure, unadulterated madness that only you can wield.
     
IF you follow these oh-so simple steps...
CONGRATULATIONS!  You can now live on, freely as you see fit. 

Cthulhu Fhtagn

Lesson One

How to keep your sex-life a secret from your parents.
 [Part One:  Condoms.]

Step One:
     Make a ladder out of said condoms, and tell your parents that the ladder is "modern art."

Step Two:
     Enjoy the peace of mind from this while it lasts. Eventually, they will notice that the ladder is growing shorter. 

Step Three:
      When they have figured this out, you simply tell them that the condoms you've been taking off of the ladder were overly ripe and needed to be picked for the harvest.

[At this point, your parents will assume that you're on drugs and completely disregard any and all thoughts on your sexual activity.]


IF you have followed these steps: 

   CONGRATULATIONS! You can now lead an [Interruption-Free] sex life!